My wife served me divorce papers, vanished without a trace, and months later returned desperate, knocking on my door for money.

I, 34 male, got divorced from my wife, 36 female, around seven months ago. We’d been married for a year when she served me, and it was really sudden. I absolutely wasn’t expecting it, and I still find it really hard to believe that one day, out of the blue, she just said that she wanted to get a divorce—and that was the end of our relationship.

She served me around ten months ago, and since there’s no waiting period where we live, it was relatively quick because I didn’t contest the divorce either. I just didn’t see any point in contesting it when it was sufficiently clear to me that she didn’t want to be with me anymore. So I let her go. Even though it did hurt me, I had no other choice.

The negotiations for the settlement took a while, but we did manage to split everything. I bought the house for myself, and the rest of our assets were also split equally between us. The expensive gifts that we gave each other were not mentioned though, so we kept whatever we’d received.

Once the divorce was done with, she literally disappeared—not just from my life metaphorically, but literally. She just disappeared from the city. She quit her job just a couple of weeks after the settlement was done, without as much as a goodbye to her friends and co-workers. She probably moved cities and even changed her phone number so that none of the people she used to know here could get to her.

I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why she’d go to such extreme lengths. It couldn’t have been because of me, because after she served me with the divorce papers, I hardly even bothered her or spoke to her. I didn’t have anything to say to her, so I didn’t talk to her unless it was in the company of our lawyers.

As for her friends here, they’ve been relatively supportive, so I don’t know why she’d suddenly cut them off as well. Her friends actually had to turn to me for help when she disappeared, since they had no clue where she went or what became of her. But we had no luck trying to find her and eventually had to give up. Clearly, she didn’t want to be found, which is why she’d gone so far.

Anyway, I moved on with my life after that—or at least I tried to. It still didn’t make any sense to me how she could just wake up one morning and not have any love in her heart for me. But what’s done was done, and I couldn’t go back in time to change it, so I just had to accept it, which I did with time.

But then my ex-wife yelled out my name, and I started feeling confused instead of scared. I opened the door after a few seconds, and she stepped in. She looked worse for the wear and had lost a couple of pounds since I’d seen her last.

I tried to greet her, even though I felt really awkward, but she cut me off before I could say anything. Without wasting even a second, she asked me where I’d kept all the expensive jewelry that I had gifted her. I was kind of surprised that she was asking about it almost seven months after our divorce, since she hadn’t mentioned it during the settlement at all.

I told her that I didn’t have it, and she started looking really, really pissed when I said that. She told me not to mess around and just hand it all over to her because she needed it. But I told her what I’d done with her gifts and that I really didn’t have them with me anymore.

Over the course of our relationship, my wife and I had obviously showered each other with gifts. Since we’d been married for a year, and before that we dated for three years, both of us earned a significant amount, so expensive gifts for every occasion were our thing.

I’d accumulated a bunch of really expensive items over the years that she gifted me, worth around $30,000. I know this because I sold around $25,000 worth of those items and gave away the rest to charity.

The reason for this was that it all reminded me of her too much, and I just wanted to erase all traces of her from my life altogether. So I got rid of it all so I could have a fresh start. I don’t think I did anything wrong, but my ex-wife was furious when I told her what I’d done.

She called me a gold digger and demanded that I get it all back somehow or give her the money. Now, I don’t think that’s fair at all, because I gave her several expensive items as well. Not just items, but for our first marriage anniversary, I gifted her the car that she’s been driving ever since then.

I didn’t ask for any of it to be returned to me or even that I’d be compensated for it, so I don’t think she has the right to ask me to return anything either. I’m not a gold digger, that’s for sure, since I gave her just as much as she gave me, if not more.

I told her all of this, but she wasn’t ready to listen and said that she wasn’t going to leave me alone until I returned everything to her. I couldn’t believe that she was being so stupid because obviously I wasn’t giving anything back to her. Even if I could, I wouldn’t.

Back when we were negotiating, she could have asked for all her gifts to be returned, and I would have been obliged to do it—as would she. But she didn’t choose to speak up then and get it all done legally. And now I’m not obliged to do anything for her.

She left that night but hasn’t stopped bothering me since and keeps texting me to remind me that I need to give it all back. I don’t think I did anything wrong, and I’m not feeling very inclined to compensate her for all that she’d given me. So am I the jerk for selling off all the gifts that my ex-wife had given me while we were together?

So it’s been a week since my ex-wife came back, and like I mentioned already, she’d been bothering me every day after that night. I got extremely pissed off yesterday and finally agreed to meet her to discuss certain things because I just couldn’t take her ridiculous demands anymore and had to put an end to it all.

So we met at a restaurant, because I really didn’t want her inside my house. I guess in hindsight I should have guessed it was a bad decision, since she ended up throwing a temper tantrum in the restaurant and embarrassed me in front of a bunch of strangers.

Anyway, when we met, I told her right off the bat that I would be willing to work out an arrangement where I compensate her with the money, but she also had to return all the gifts I gave her—including her car. When I said that, she even had the audacity to look shocked. I mean, I don’t even understand why she’d expect me to just hand over such a huge amount of money to her without expecting anything in return.

I guess she’s forgotten that we’re not still married and I don’t owe her anything. She told me that she’d sold off all the jewelry and other gifts, and as for the car, she currently uses it, so obviously she can’t give it back to me.

As far as I was concerned, that was the end of the discussion for me. Because if she had nothing to give me, then I didn’t owe her anything either—fair and square.

But she sat me down and argued with me for several more minutes about how she needed the money more than I did, because she’d had to move cities and her new job didn’t pay half as well. I don’t understand how that was any of my concern or fault, because I never told her to move. I’d kept to myself after the divorce and hadn’t said a word to her.

So I told her that while I was sorry that she was going through tough times, my condolences were all that I could offer her, because I really wasn’t going to give her anything else. Once again, I reminded her that she should have brought all of this up when we were negotiating during the divorce, but she didn’t, so that really wasn’t my problem anymore.

At that point, she slammed her fist on the table out of frustration, and that earned us several concerned looks. I told her not to make a scene out here, but yet again she wasn’t going to listen to me and started yelling at me.

She told me that I was being selfish and I couldn’t just do this to her after so many years of being together. That made me laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it, because obviously she was the one who’d thrown away all those years of being together—I hadn’t. And now she was the one bringing it up to try and manipulate me into giving her my money just because she needed it.

Well, back when we were getting divorced, I needed some time to process it and come to terms with it as well. But she didn’t give me that. Hell, she didn’t even give me a second chance. So why on Earth would I be so considerate of what she needs right now?

She kept yelling at me in front of all the people while I tried to quiet her down, but eventually the restaurant manager had to come over to our table and request us to leave. I didn’t blame the guy, because who even would want such a nutcase in their midst?

I paid for the salad that I’d ordered, apologized, and left, while my ex-wife yelled at the manager. I tried to slip out and drive away as soon as I could, but unfortunately she probably noticed what I was trying to do and stopped me before I could enter my car.

I was getting really impatient because this was an off day that I was wasting on her and her antics, and I just wanted to get home, drink some wine, and watch Netflix. But she was the only thing standing in my way.

I told her to make it quick, and even that offended her and set her off. She started telling me that this was really important to her and that my treating this whole situation like this was really offensive.

By then, I was pretty much done with her and told her that it didn’t matter to me and I just wanted to get away from her. We weren’t married anymore, so she was as good as a stranger to me. I didn’t owe her anything anymore—not my time and definitely not my money. So she should just be grateful I even agreed to meet her.

After that, I didn’t give her the chance to speak anymore and got into my car while she fumbled for words, and then drove away as fast as I could. I hope she takes the hint now and doesn’t bother me anymore.

I thought that my last update would be the end of this whole situation with my ex-wife, but clearly not. I’m back again now, just three days after my last update. This time, thankfully, I didn’t have to interact with my ex-wife directly, but with my in-laws instead.

So here’s the thing: my in-laws also blocked me everywhere as soon as my wife told me she wanted to get a divorce, which was quite a shock to me, especially when I realized my brother-in-law had blocked me as well, because we’d been pretty good friends.

I hadn’t minded it back then because, needless to say, no matter how friendly we were, he’d obviously still choose his sister’s side over me. And I was pretty sure that it was my ex-wife who told them all to block me. I tried not to take it to heart, but it did sting a little—especially the fact that even my brother-in-law didn’t try to keep in touch. But whatever.

I hadn’t spoken to them since back then, but a couple of hours ago my brother-in-law called me out of the blue. When I answered his call, I was a little surprised, because I wasn’t expecting him to get back in touch with me ever again.

After some small talk, he got to the point and told me that his sister was back because she needed all the help she could get, and that he would really appreciate it if I gave her the money that I’d received from selling off her gifts.

I thought that it was really low on my ex-wife’s part to get her brother involved just so that she could get some money out of me. But nevertheless, I tried to keep my calm and told my brother-in-law the same thing that I told my ex-wife.

I explained it all really calmly and politely and expected him to understand—but he didn’t. Duh, he was his sister’s brother. In spite of the friendship that we had in the past, he went on to argue with me and even said that if I had been in my ex-wife’s position, then she would have helped me out without batting an eye.

I didn’t see the point of saying something as asinine as that, because I think everyone who knows my ex-wife would say quite the opposite. She’s not the helpful kind, and definitely not the selfless kind. So I knew that my brother-in-law was just saying things to emotionally manipulate me, but it wasn’t going to work. I’m not that stupid or soft.

I still kept my cool and told him that I wasn’t going to change my mind, and then even he snapped at me. He called me a bunch of names and told me that he regretted ever being friends with me since I clearly wasn’t worthy of it.

That really got to me, and I shot back, saying that neither was his sister worth marrying—but here we were.

I hung up after that and blocked his number. I’m still fuming, because this is just the limit. She can’t just go on bothering me like this for money—especially when I’ve made my terms sufficiently clear.

If she can’t live up to that, then that’s her problem entirely. She has no right to harass me right now, especially after she disappeared on me for months and didn’t even bother to explain anything.

And while I don’t want to admit it, I am kind of curious to know what exactly she was up to all these months. As far as I know, she was never the kind of person to take an interest in traveling or anything of the sort, so I’m sure she wasn’t away finding herself in nature or whatever.

Plus, seven months is a long time to be away. And if she’s managed to run into financial trouble, then there must be something really fishy going on. Her line of work pays really well, so even if she’s at a job that pays less, it’s still enough for one person to live off.

Which is why it’s really suspicious that she’s so desperate for some extra money. I’m sure there’s something that all of them are hiding from me—not just right now, but have been hiding from the very beginning. But I didn’t bother to get to the bottom of it earlier.

Obviously I can’t ask them what it is, so I’ll just have to either wait for her to come clean or hope that, by some miracle, I’m able to find out on my own. Both of these options seem really unlikely to happen, but oh well. One can only hope.

Hey, so it’s been around four days since my brother-in-law called me, and today once again I received a text from my wife. She’s pretty desperate, I think, since she messaged me at four in the morning requesting me to meet her one last time and hear her side of the story before I decide anything.

I’m kind of conflicted, because while I absolutely do not want to see her again and have her throw a tantrum once more, I also do want to know what’s going on and what’s made her so desperate for money.

At this point I don’t know what to do. I’m really lost, so I haven’t responded to her text yet. Which is why she keeps texting me again and again, requesting me to meet her. But I honestly just don’t know what to tell her.

Maybe I’ll agree to it just for the heck of it.

So I just came back home from meeting with my wife, and oh man, I’m so, so happy that I decided to meet her today and get to the bottom of this whole thing. I’m still finding it hard to believe the things she told me, but maybe venting here is going to help me realize that this isn’t just some bad dream.

So back when she’d initially asked me for a divorce and had refused to give me a reason apart from the fact that she just wasn’t in love with me anymore, I had thought that maybe she’d been cheating. But she denied it several times and had even let me go through her texts and calls to ensure that she was telling me the truth.

I didn’t have any proof to think otherwise, so I just took her word for it. But it kept bugging me, and I’d never truly believed that she wasn’t actually cheating on me. With time, though, I’d been able to drive all those doubts away from my mind.

But today my worst fears were confirmed, because as it turns out, I’ve been played for a fool and my ex-wife had indeed been cheating. She started having feelings for one of her classmates back when they’d met at a high school reunion, just six months into our marriage, and that’s when she started an extramarital affair with him.

So everything beyond that point was a lie, and I almost threw up when she confessed. She’d eventually moved to a new city with him, and they’d taken up living on a farm—which had been a terrible decision, because duh, none of them knew the first thing about farming. It wasn’t the romantic abode they’d been looking for, so they ended up having to hire someone who knew what he was doing to take care of their business.

On top of that, her boyfriend also found out that he was expecting a baby a couple of months ago. But they just didn’t have enough money to raise a child anymore. Farming was clearly not their cup of tea, and they still needed some time to make profits. They’d already burned through their savings.

So as a last resort, she came running back to me to ask for the gifts she’d given me.

I was in shock when she told me all of this, because it was all so surreal. I’d gone to the hotel she’d been living in, and we’d been talking in her room. But as soon as she finished her story and asked me to be considerate, I got up and left without a word.

I still couldn’t process what she told me while I walked back to my car, and even as I drove back home I struggled to make sense of it all. I couldn’t believe that she’d had the audacity to cheat on me and then come running back to me for help because she’d gotten pregnant by the man she’d been cheating on me with.

Worst of all, I couldn’t believe I’d ever fallen for her act and believed that she’d ever loved me. For our one-year anniversary, I bought her a freaking car—while she’d been cheating on me with that other man. And even that didn’t stop her from running away with him.

I was disgusted by her and blocked her as soon as I came back home. So far I hadn’t done that, because deep down I still had a soft spot for her. But that was all gone now. She didn’t deserve any of my kindness or sympathy.

She had tried to call me back when I was walking out of her hotel room, but I didn’t look back, and she didn’t chase me down, so I guess that was that. Maybe she’ll realize that I’m done with her and not bother me again. But honestly, given how shameless she is, I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I’m pretty sure she’ll try one last time to get some money out of me.

I was right. She did come back today. She showed up at my house, and I let her in because I was going to let her have it from me today and then kick her out for good.

She had the audacity to even say that last time we met, she didn’t chase me down because she wanted me to take my time. Like wow, thanks for the huge favor, I guess.

Anyway, I didn’t waste much time and told her that I hadn’t changed my mind, and if anything, her story had just convinced me even more to not help her out under any circumstances.

I told her that I didn’t even understand how she found it in herself to come crawling back to me for money after she’d been cheating on me for so long. I think I must have ranted for ten minutes and even called her a bunch of names that she called me that other day back in the restaurant—except this time I was completely right.

She was indeed a selfish gold digger with no regard for anyone else’s feelings except her own, and it served her right that she was now struggling with money. This was just her own karma, because what goes around comes around. So she shouldn’t expect any help at all from the person she screwed over.

She opened her mouth to argue, but I told her that I wasn’t going to let her disrespect me and argue with me anymore, and that she needed to leave immediately or else I really would call the cops and report her.

She tried to say that I was bluffing, but then I actually grabbed my phone and screamed at her to get the hell out. I must have looked pretty hysterical, since that’s how I felt, and she ended up leaving looking scared but still cursing at me.

It didn’t make a difference to me anymore though. She was gone, and that’s all that mattered to me.

I’m finally just done with this a-hole and never have to deal with her ever again. Which actually does call for a celebration, so maybe I’ll get some wine today and celebrate my independence.