My best friend smiled at me and said, “You like kids, right? Help get rid of one for me.”

“What the what do you mean get rid of one?” I gasped.

My best friend Audrey waved her hand around dismissively. “I meant, like, distract Kurt’s little brother for me.”

Kurt was the new guy Audrey had been obsessing over since he moved here, and honestly, I get it. He had that cool guitar-guy vibe going on that made him look like he was a missing member of One Direction. And Audrey wasn’t the only girl chasing after him. The thing was, no one could get close because of his twelve-year-old brother, Joey. Wherever Kurt went, Joey was there.

Audrey reached out and held my hands tightly, fluttering her eyes at me.

“Please, I just need you to babysit the little brat so I can have a chance to be alone with Kurt.”

I couldn’t say no. Audrey had been there for me during my last breakup. This was nothing. Babysitting Joey? Easy.

It only became a problem when Kurt started to look for me, too.

Audrey was practically bouncing with excitement when I showed up at Kurt’s apartment to pick up Joey. Unfortunately, he was not a happy camper. He pouted the entire ride on the way to the arcade, and when we arrived, all he’d say was, “I want my brother back.”

But I wasn’t ready to give up on him. I held up my Dave & Buster’s card and grinned.

“All right, if you can beat me in any game, we’ll go home.”

Suddenly, he was alive, putting his full effort into each game. But what he didn’t know was that I basically grew up in the arcade.

“No way,” he gasped after I handed him another defeat in Guitar Hero.

I patted his back. “Sorry, kid. You’ll need another ten years before you can beat me.”

He smiled at me, finally warming up.

“I like you. People only play with me because they like my brother. Even the kids at school think I’m annoying.”

I paused.

“Joey, you’re not annoying,” I told him.

“No, it’s okay. I like that you’re at least honest. Audrey doesn’t even pretend to like me. She just stares at Kurt and acts like I’m not around,” he said in a calm voice.

My heart broke for him. I bent down and looked him in the eye.

“You’re a cool little dude. And Audrey, she’ll come around.”

But somehow we both knew it wasn’t true.

Before heading back home, we made a pact. Anytime he wanted to hang out, I’d be there.

What I didn’t expect was the next time I got called over, Kurt was there, too. First, he showed up just to check in on things, until he stayed to hang out with us completely.

Joey pouted at Kurt.

“You’re interrupting our gaming time.”

Kurt and I grinned at each other. He held his hands up, apologizing.

“Wow, I didn’t think my own little brother would try to kick me out,” he joked. “You must really be something.”

Kurt stared at me with a soft, romantic smile. When Joey saw my face turn red, he glared at Kurt and covered Kurt’s face.

“No. No flirting with my playdate.”

We all burst into laughter.

The three of us fell into something I didn’t expect. Kurt would bring pizza. Joey would pick the movie. I’d make popcorn. Joey started falling asleep on my shoulder halfway through whatever superhero film he’d chosen, and I’d fall asleep on Kurt’s shoulder.

He shook my shoulder gently after moving Joey to his bedroom.

“Hey, can I drop you off?”

That was our first time alone. I expected it to be awkward, but it wasn’t. We spent most of the time talking about Joey.

“I’m seriously thankful. Ever since we lost our parents, Joey’s been having a hard time.” He reached over from the driver’s seat and held my hand.

Everything felt right until I remembered something crucial.

Audrey.

In the morning, Kurt texted me.

Would you want to get dinner together later? Without Joey for once, like just us?

I stared at my phone, reading it over and over until Joey texted me, too.

Please say yes to Kurt. If you date him, we can hang out all the time. Please, please, please.

Before I could say yes, Audrey called me, sobbing into the phone.

“I thought we were getting closer, but Kurt’s been so distant lately. I don’t know what I did wrong. He barely responds to my texts anymore. Can you come with me to their house? I need to talk to him face to face. I can pick you up in ten minutes.”

I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t even respond to any of them. I just knew whatever I chose, I was going to break someone’s heart.

I sit on my bed staring at my phone screen until the words blur together. Kurt’s dinner invitation sits in one thread. Joey’s all-caps begging sits in another, and I can still hear Audrey’s voice cracking through the phone, asking me to come with her in ten minutes.

My thumb hovers over the keyboard, but I can’t make it move.

I open Audrey’s thread first because she’s literally waiting for me right now and type out that I can be ready in twenty minutes instead. The guilt hits as soon as I press send because I need those extra ten minutes to figure out what I’m going to say when we get to Kurt’s place.

My phone buzzes immediately with Audrey’s response saying she’ll be there in twenty with a heart emoji.

I switch to Kurt’s thread and my fingers feel heavy as I type that I need a day to think about dinner because of some friend stuff happening. It sounds weak and vague, but I hit send anyway because I genuinely have no idea what the right answer is.

His reply comes back fast, saying he understands and hopes everything’s okay.

I look at Joey’s text last, his message still sitting there unopened with that little preview showing, “Please say yes to Kurt” in capital letters. I can’t open it because seeing his excitement makes everything ten times worse when I already feel like I’m about to hurt everyone no matter what I do.

My hands shake as I grab my jacket off the chair and shove my phone in my pocket. I head downstairs and wait by the front window, watching for Audrey’s car and trying to breathe normally.

Her blue sedan pulls up exactly twenty minutes later, and I can see through the windshield that her eyes look red and puffy, even though she’s trying to look determined. I climb into the passenger seat, and she immediately starts talking about how Kurt’s been so distant lately, and she just needs to understand what happened.

She keeps saying she thought they were getting closer and she doesn’t know what she did wrong. I make agreeing sounds and nod at the right times while my stomach twists itself into knots, because I’m pretty sure I know exactly why he’s been distant, and it’s sitting right next to her.

The drive to Kurt’s apartment feels like it takes forever, even though it’s only fifteen minutes. Audrey practices out loud what she wants to say to him, asking me if it sounds too desperate or too aggressive. I give answers like “It sounds fine” and “Just be honest” that don’t commit me to anything.

Every street we pass makes my chest feel tighter because I know this is going to blow up badly and I’m right in the middle of it.

We pull into the parking lot of Kurt’s building and Audrey puts the car in park but doesn’t get out right away. She takes these big deep breaths like she’s preparing for something huge and checks her face in the mirror.

I follow her out of the car, feeling like I’m walking toward a car crash that I could have stopped if I’d just been honest from the start. She walks up to the building entrance with fake confidence, and I trail behind her by a few steps.

She rings the doorbell and stands up straighter, putting on this brave face while I stand slightly to the side.

The door opens, and Joey’s face appears, and he lights up completely when he sees me standing there. Then his eyes shift to Audrey next to me, and his whole expression changes, his smile dropping away.

He doesn’t say hi or invite us in, just turns his head and calls for Kurt in this flat voice. I can see him reading the tension already, and it makes me feel even worse.

Kurt appears behind Joey, looking confused about why both of us are standing at his door together. Audrey jumps in immediately, asking if they can talk privately for just a few minutes.

Kurt’s eyes flick to me, and I see this uncomfortable recognition cross his face before he looks back at Audrey. He agrees, but his voice sounds reluctant, and he steps aside to let us in.

Joey grabs my hand before I can follow them and pulls me toward the living room where his game console sits on the floor. He starts talking really fast about this new level he finally beat yesterday and showing me the controller setup.

I try to focus on what he’s saying, but I can hear Audrey and Kurt’s voices coming from the kitchen, muffled but clearly serious.

My stomach feels sick because I should be honest with everyone about what’s happening, but I have no idea how to do that without destroying everything.

Joey keeps talking about some boss fight he finally beat, but his voice sounds far away because I’m trying so hard to listen to what’s happening in the kitchen. I catch pieces of Audrey’s voice saying something about thinking they had something special and Kurt responding in this calm, gentle tone that somehow makes it worse.

Joey stops mid-sentence and looks at me with this expression that’s way too knowing for a twelve-year-old. His shoulders go stiff and he sets the controller down on the carpet instead of handing it to me like he was about to.

We sit there in this awful silence where the only sound is the muffled conversation from the other room and the quiet hum of the gaming console. I want to say something to Joey, but nothing comes out because what am I supposed to tell him when I can barely handle what’s happening myself?

He picks at the edge of the controller and won’t look at me anymore.

The minutes drag by feeling like hours, and I count the seconds in my head trying to distract myself from the guilt eating through my chest.

Finally, I hear footsteps and Audrey appears in the living room doorway. Her eyes are red and puffy, but she’s got this bright fake smile plastered on her face that makes my stomach hurt.

Kurt follows behind her, looking sorry and uncomfortable, and I can see him trying to figure out what to say.

Audrey announces in this too-cheerful voice that we need to go now and thanks Kurt for his time.

Joey’s hand tightens around the controller so hard his knuckles turn white and I notice but can’t do anything about it right now.

I stand up too fast and feel dizzy for a second. Kurt’s eyes find mine and there’s this question in them, like he’s asking if I’m okay or maybe asking something else entirely. I can’t deal with whatever he wants to know right now because Audrey is already heading toward the door and falling apart right in front of me.

I give Joey this quick little wave that feels totally wrong for the situation and follow Audrey out into the hallway.

The door closes behind us with this soft click that sounds way too final.

Audrey walks fast toward the stairs and I have to hurry to keep up with her. She doesn’t say anything until we’re in the car and she’s gripping the steering wheel so tight her hands shake.

Then she just breaks.

The tears come all at once and she’s sobbing these big gulping sobs while trying to talk at the same time. She tells me Kurt said he values her as a friend, but he’s not interested in dating her. And she keeps asking what she did wrong. She wants to know why she’s not good enough and what’s wrong with her, and I’m making these agreeing sounds like I’m being supportive while guilt tears me apart from the inside.

I reach over and pat her shoulder, but it feels fake even though I genuinely feel bad for her. She keeps crying and talking in circles about how she thought they were getting closer and she doesn’t understand what changed.

I know exactly what changed, but I can’t tell her that. So I just sit there being the worst friend in the world.

The drive back to my house takes forever even though it’s only like ten minutes. Audrey’s still crying when she pulls up in front of my place and I promise to call her later tonight after she’s had some time to process everything.

She nods and wipes her face with her sleeve and I get out of the car feeling like I might throw up.

I watch her drive away and then go inside. My legs feel weak climbing the stairs to my room. As soon as I’m through my bedroom door, I collapse face down on my bed and just lie there. I feel pulled in three different directions with no good options anywhere.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I almost don’t want to look at it, but I pull it out anyway. It’s a text from Joey asking if I’m okay and saying Audrey seemed really upset.

That makes me want to cry because even in the middle of all this mess, he’s checking on me instead of being mad that I left so fast.

I text back telling him I’m fine and we’ll hang out soon, but I keep it short and vague because I don’t know what else to say.

I stare at the ceiling for a while trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do now.

An hour goes by and my phone buzzes again. This time it’s Kurt asking if we can talk when I have a chance.

I stare at his message for like ten minutes just reading it over and over. Finally, I type back that I need a day or two to figure some things out.

His response comes back right away saying he understands and he’s not going anywhere.

That should make me feel better, but it just makes everything more complicated.

I spend the rest of the evening lying on my bed trying to do homework, but not actually getting anything done. My mom calls me down for dinner, and I tell her I’m not hungry. She doesn’t push it, which I’m grateful for.

When I finally try to sleep that night, my brain won’t shut off. I keep replaying every single moment from that first day at the arcade with Joey. The way he smiled when he finally started having fun, how Kurt looked at me during our movie nights, every time Audrey talked about her crush on him, and I just nodded along like I wasn’t developing feelings, too.

I know I like Kurt, but I also know Audrey’s my best friend, and Joey needs things to be stable way more than I need a boyfriend.

I barely sleep at all, and when my alarm goes off in the morning, I feel like I got hit by a truck.

School is going to be terrible.

I drag myself through getting ready and almost consider staying home, but that would just make things worse. When I get to the school, I’m jumpy and exhausted, and I feel like everyone can see right through me.

Then I spot Audrey down the hallway, and she looks even worse than I feel. Her eyes are swollen and she’s wearing her hair down, which she only does when she’s trying to hide her face.

She sees me and walks over and pulls me into this tight hug. She thanks me for being there yesterday and says she doesn’t know what she’d do without me as her friend.

I hug her back and feel like the absolute worst person alive.

Lunch is torture. I sit at our usual table and Audrey immediately starts going through every single interaction she’s had with Kurt. She’s trying to figure out where she misread the signals and our other friends are all offering sympathy and suggestions.

I stay quiet and push food around on my tray.

Then someone mentions seeing Kurt talking to me at Joey’s school event last week. My whole body goes cold. Audrey’s expression does this weird shift like something just clicked in her head, but then she forces this smile and says something about how nice it is that I’m helping with Joey.

The smile doesn’t reach her eyes, though, and I know she’s starting to put pieces together.

The rest of lunch drags on forever, and I barely touch my food. My hands feel shaky every time I pick up my fork.

When the bell finally rings, I grab my stuff and head to my next class in a daze.

The afternoon classes blur together because I can’t focus on anything the teachers are saying. My notebook fills up with random doodles instead of actual notes.

After the final bell rings, I walk out of my last class and find my feet carrying me toward the counseling office without really deciding to go there.

The hallway feels too bright and too loud with everyone rushing past me to get outside. I push through the main office doors and approach the front desk where a woman with reading glasses looks up at me.

She asks if I need something and I hear myself say, “I want to talk to a counselor, if anyone’s available.”

She checks her computer screen and tells me Marcela Holland has an opening right now if I want to go in. I hesitate for maybe three seconds before nodding and she points me toward a door down the hall.

I knock twice and a voice tells me to come in.

Marcela is way younger than I expected, maybe late twenties with her hair pulled back in a simple ponytail. She has this calm way of looking at me that doesn’t feel like she’s judging anything.

She gestures to a chair across from her desk and I sit down, gripping my backpack straps.

She asks what brings me in today and I start talking about stress with balancing friend stuff and school. The words come out stiff and rehearsed like I’m reading from a script.

She nods along and asks a few questions about my classes and my friends. I give vague answers that don’t really mean anything.

Then she asks if there’s something specific that’s been bothering me lately, and suddenly my throat gets tight. I try to keep talking about homework and tests, but my voice cracks.

Before I can stop myself, I’m crying, and the whole story comes tumbling out about Audrey and Kurt and Joey. I grab tissues from the box on her desk and wipe my face while explaining how I was supposed to babysit Joey so Audrey could get close to Kurt, but then I started having feelings, too.

The words keep coming faster, and I tell her about movie nights and Kurt asking me to dinner and Audrey crying on the phone.

Marcela doesn’t interrupt at all, just sits there listening with her hands folded on the desk.

When I finally run out of words, she waits a few seconds before speaking. She asks me what I actually want versus what I think I should want.

The question catches me completely off guard because nobody else has asked me that. Everyone just assumes I should pick Audrey’s feelings over mine because she’s my best friend.

I wipe my eyes again and admit I have feelings for Kurt that feel real and important, but I’m terrified of hurting Audrey, who’s been there for me through everything. And I’m worried about Joey getting caught in the middle of adult drama when he already lost his parents.

Marcela nods slowly and asks if I think my feelings for Kurt would just disappear if I ignore them. I shake my head because I know they won’t.

She points out that feelings don’t work that way, and pretending they don’t exist usually makes things worse.

Marcela leans forward slightly and says I need to have an honest conversation with Audrey before anything else happens. She explains that the longer I avoid it, the worse the betrayal will feel when Audrey inevitably finds out, and she will find out eventually because these things always come to light.

I nod because I know she’s right, even though the thought of that conversation makes me want to throw up.

Marcela also points out that I can’t control Audrey’s feelings or her reaction. The only thing I can control is my own honesty and integrity. She asks if I want to be the kind of person who lies to their best friend or the kind who tells hard truths even when it’s scary.

I tell her I want to be honest, but I don’t know how to start that conversation. She suggests I just ask Audrey to meet up and tell her directly that I’ve developed feelings for Kurt. No long explanation or justification, just the simple truth, and then let Audrey respond however she needs to.

I leave her office twenty minutes later feeling slightly less like I’m drowning. The panic is still there, but now there’s also a clear path forward instead of just spinning in circles.

I walk to my car in the parking lot and sit in the driver’s seat for a few minutes. My phone sits in my lap and I stare at it, knowing what I need to do.

I open my text with Audrey and type out a message asking if she wants to hang out this weekend. My finger hovers over the send button for a solid minute. Then I close my eyes and hit send before I can change my mind.

The message shows as delivered and I put my phone in the cup holder and drive home. My hands grip the steering wheel too tight the whole way.

That evening, I’m trying to do homework in my room when my phone buzzes. I grab it expecting Audrey’s response, but it’s Joey instead. His text says Jackson’s band is playing a small show Friday night and asks if I want to come. He mentions Kurt will be there too with three exclamation points.

My stomach twists because I know I should say no. I should stay away until I figure things out with Audrey, but I also don’t want to disappear from Joey’s life when he’s already dealing with enough.

I type back that I’ll be there and immediately feel guilty about it. My phone buzzes again with Joey’s response full of happy emojis.

Then Audrey texts back saying this weekend works for her and asks what I want to do. I tell her maybe just coffee and talking. She sends back a thumbs-up.

I put my phone face down on my desk and try to focus on my math homework, but the numbers blur together.

Friday arrives way too fast. I spend the whole day at the school feeling jumpy and distracted. After my last class, I drive home and change clothes three times before settling on jeans and a plain shirt.

The venue is this small place downtown that usually has local bands on weekends. I park a block away and walk over, hearing music already coming from inside. The door guy checks my ID and waves me through.

The space is dark and crowded with people standing around talking over the opening band. I scan the room looking for Joey and spot him near the stage.

He sees me at the same time and his whole face lights up. He pushes through the crowd and grabs my hand, dragging me toward the stage area.

Kurt is over by the side with his guitar talking to Jackson and the other band members. He looks up and sees us and waves. My chest does this warm thing when he smiles at me. Then the guilt crashes in right after because Audrey should be here instead of me.

The opening band finishes and Jackson’s band takes the stage. They start setting up their equipment and doing sound checks. Joey bounces on his feet next to me, clearly excited to see his brother perform.

The first song starts and I’m surprised by how good they actually are. Jackson has a strong voice and the guitar parts are complex. Kurt plays with complete focus, his fingers moving across the strings without hesitation.

The crowd around us starts moving to the music. Joey leans against my side during one of the slower songs. I put my arm around his shoulders without thinking about it. In this moment, I realize how much I’ve come to care about this kid that has nothing to do with his brother. Joey is funny and sweet, and he deserves people who stick around for him. Not because of Kurt, but because of who Joey is.

The set ends and the crowd claps and cheers. Kurt and Jackson pack up their equipment while Joey and I wait near the stage. Jackson spots us and walks over with a huge grin. He says something about the show going well and then looks at me with this knowing expression. He mentions that Kurt talks about me all the time, then gives me a look that makes my face heat up.

Before I can respond, Joey interrupts, asking if we can all get pizza because he’s starving. Kurt appears behind Jackson and agrees immediately. He catches my eye and smiles in a way that makes my stomach flip.

Jackson says he needs to help pack up the van, but we should go ahead.

We all head toward the exit together, and I try not to think about how this feels like a date, even though Joey is here as a buffer.

The pizza place is busy and loud with people talking over each other. We grab a table in the back corner and order two large pizzas.

Joey immediately launches into stories about his week at school and some new game he’s playing. He talks with his hands, gesturing wildly as he describes beating a hard level.

Kurt and I sit across from each other, and our eyes keep meeting over Joey’s head. Every glance feels heavy with things we’re not saying. Jackson watches us with barely hidden amusement, like he’s watching a show.

After about twenty minutes, he suddenly announces he needs to head out, making up some excuse about an early morning. He leaves money for his share of the pizza and walks out.

Now it’s just the three of us at the table.

Joey doesn’t seem to notice the shift, but I definitely do. Kurt’s foot accidentally bumps mine under the table and neither of us moves away.

The pizza gets cold while Joey talks about some gaming tournament at school, and Kurt keeps glancing at me with this soft look that makes my chest feel tight.

Eventually, Joey yawns and Kurt checks his phone, saying they should head home because it’s getting late.

We walk out to Kurt’s car and Joey climbs in the back seat, still talking about his day. The drive to Joey’s place takes about fifteen minutes and I sit in the passenger seat watching streetlights pass by the window.

Kurt drops Joey off at their apartment and Joey waves goodbye to me before running inside. Then it’s just the two of us and Kurt pulls back onto the road, heading toward my house.

The silence feels heavy and different from earlier. I stare at my hands in my lap and Kurt clears his throat. He tells me he got my text about needing time and he wants me to know there’s no pressure on anything. His voice sounds careful, like he’s trying not to push.

I look over at him and almost say everything right then about Audrey and the guilt and how confused I feel, but the words stick in my throat and I just thank him for being so understanding about the whole thing.

He reaches over and squeezes my hand for a second before putting his hand back on the wheel.

When we pull up to my house, I unbuckle my seat belt and tell him good night. He says good night back and waits until I’m inside before driving away.

I go straight to my room and flop onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. My phone sits on my nightstand and I grab it, opening a new text to Audrey.

I start typing out this long message about how I’ve developed feelings for Kurt and I’m so sorry and I never meant for any of this to happen. The words look pathetic on the screen and I keep deleting parts and rewriting them, trying to make it sound less awful.

After twenty minutes, I have this whole paragraph explaining everything, but my finger hovers over the send button and I can’t do it. I remember what Marcela said about being honest in person and how text messages can make things worse.

I delete the entire draft and throw my phone across my bed. Tomorrow, I’ll talk to Audrey face to face at the coffee shop like a real friend should.

I set an alarm for early Saturday morning and try to sleep, but mostly just stare at the dark ceiling, thinking about how badly this could go.

Saturday morning, my alarm goes off and my stomach immediately twists into knots. I get up and shower, then stand in front of my closet for way too long trying to pick an outfit. Everything feels wrong, like I’m dressing for some terrible event.

I finally settle on jeans and a regular shirt because trying too hard would be weird.

I practice in the mirror saying different versions of the confession. I try starting with an apology, then try starting with the actual feelings part, but everything sounds horrible. Each version makes me sound like the worst friend in the world who betrayed her best friend over some guy.

I check my phone and see it’s almost time to meet Audrey, so I grab my keys and drive to our usual coffee shop downtown. My hands shake a little on the steering wheel and I have to take deep breaths at red lights.

When I park outside the coffee shop, I sit in my car for a few extra minutes trying to calm down. Through the window, I can see our normal table in the corner is empty.

I force myself to get out and walk inside, ordering my usual drink even though I feel too sick to actually drink it. I sit down at our table and wait, checking my phone every thirty seconds.

Audrey walks in about five minutes later, and she actually looks better than she did earlier this week. Her eyes aren’t red and puffy anymore, and she’s wearing makeup and a cute outfit.

She orders her drink, then comes over and sits across from me with this bright smile.

Before I can say anything, she launches into this whole speech about how she’s been doing a lot of thinking, and she’s decided to move on from Kurt and focus on herself for a while. She talks about how she realized she was building up this fantasy in her head, and it wasn’t healthy.

My rehearsed confession completely dies in my throat as I listen to her talk about her new perspective on everything. She seems so much better and more at peace, and I realize telling her now might actually be even harder than if she was still upset.

She keeps talking about self-improvement and joining some new club at school, and I just nod along, feeling worse with every word.

I force myself to interrupt her mid-sentence, and my voice comes out shaky. I tell her I need to say something important, and her expression immediately shifts from happy to concerned.

She asks what’s wrong and leans forward like she’s ready to help with whatever problem I have.

The words tumble out, clumsy and rushed, and I admit I’ve developed feelings for Kurt and I’m so sorry and I never meant for any of this to happen.

Her face freezes and I watch her process what I just said. She goes through several emotions really fast, and I can see confusion, then hurt, then something like betrayal before her expression settles into this cold, blank look.

She asks in a voice that’s too calm and controlled how long I’ve felt this way. I’m honest and tell her it’s been building over the past few weeks while I’ve been spending time with Joey.

Somehow, saying Joey’s name makes it worse, like I was sneaking around with her crush while pretending to babysit.

Her jaw tightens and she looks away from me toward the window. She asks if Kurt feels the same way about me, and I tell her yes, he asked me to dinner, but I haven’t given him an answer because our friendship matters more.

That doesn’t seem to help at all.

She stands up suddenly and her chair scrapes loud against the floor. She says she needs time to think about this and grabs her coffee cup.

I start to say something else, but she’s already walking toward the door. She leaves the coffee shop without looking back and I watch her through the window as she gets in her car and drives away.

I sit alone at the table with my untouched coffee getting cold in front of me. The barista behind the counter glances over at me, probably wondering why I look like I’m about to cry.

I feel like I just destroyed the most important friendship I have. But there’s also this weird sense of relief that the secret is finally out in the open. At least now everything is honest, even if it’s terrible.

I stay at the coffee shop for another hour just sitting there because I don’t want to go home yet. My phone stays silent the whole time, and I don’t text Audrey because she asked for space.

Eventually, I drive home and spend the rest of Saturday in my room doing homework and trying not to check my phone every five minutes. My parents ask if I’m okay at dinner, and I tell them I’m fine, just tired.

Sunday drags by even slower, and I deep clean my room just to have something to do with my hands. I keep picking up my phone to text Audrey, then putting it back down.

Around six in the evening on Sunday, my phone finally buzzes with a text from her. My heart jumps and I open it immediately.

She asks me not to go on that dinner with Kurt yet and says she needs more time to process everything, and she doesn’t want to see me with him right now.

I respond right away, saying, “Of course, I’ll wait,” and that her friendship matters way more to me than any potential relationship.

She sends back a thumbs-up emoji and nothing else.

I put my phone down, feeling relieved she responded, but also sad that our friendship feels so damaged.

Monday morning, I wake up to a text from Kurt asking if I’ve thought more about dinner and saying he’d really like to take me out this week. I stare at the message for a long time trying to figure out how to explain.

I type back, telling him about my conversation with Audrey on Saturday and how she asked me to wait before going on any dates with him. I explain that I need to respect her feelings right now because she’s my best friend.

Kurt responds pretty quickly, saying he respects that decision and he’s not going anywhere, so we can take whatever time I need. But even through the text, I can sense the disappointment and it makes my chest ache.

I thank him for understanding and tell him I’ll let him know when things settle down. He sends back a simple “Okay” with a sad face emoji.

I get ready for school feeling exhausted even though the day hasn’t started yet. Everything feels complicated and messy and I don’t know how long Audrey will need, or if Kurt will actually wait, or if Joey will be mad at me for making everything weird between his brother and my friend.

At school, I keep my head down and try to focus on classes, but my mind keeps wandering to Kurt’s unanswered text and Joey’s excited messages that I still haven’t opened.

During lunch, I spot Audrey sitting with our usual group, and she waves me over with a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. I slide into my seat and she asks about the history homework in a polite voice that feels wrong coming from my best friend, who normally complains about assignments.

Our other friends exchange quick glances like they know something happened, but nobody asks directly. Maya mentions seeing Kurt at the music store yesterday, and Audrey’s smile gets tighter, but she just nods and changes the subject to weekend plans.

I pick up my sandwich and mostly stay quiet while the conversation flows around me.

After lunch, I find myself walking toward the counseling office without really planning to, and the secretary tells me Marcela has an opening.

I sit in the small office with its motivational posters and she asks how things went with Audrey. I explain the coffee shop conversation and how Audrey asked me to wait before dating Kurt, and Marcela nods slowly.

She reminds me that being honest was the right choice, even when it’s hard, and that I can’t control how long Audrey needs to process everything.

I leave feeling slightly better, but still heavy with the weight of everything unresolved.

The next few days crawl by with Audrey staying civil but distant, and I notice some of our mutual friends acting slightly weird around me, like they’ve heard a version of events. I don’t ask what Audrey told them because I’m too tired to defend myself or explain the messy situation.

Kurt and I text occasionally about homework or random stuff, but we both avoid talking about anything serious.

I go to game night at their apartment later that week, and Joey immediately notices something’s off. He pauses his game and looks at me with those too-smart eyes. He asks if I’m mad at Kurt because there’s been weird energy lately.

I force a smile and tell him everything’s fine, but he gives me this skeptical look that makes him seem way older than twelve. He doesn’t push it, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me, and the rest of game night feels strained.

Two weeks drag by with Audrey only responding to my texts with short, polite answers, and I start accepting that our friendship might be permanently broken. Kurt and I keep things friendly on the surface, but there’s this careful distance between us now, like we’re both afraid to say the wrong thing.

Joey texts me more than usual, asking when I’m coming over next and if everything’s okay, and I can tell he’s confused by the sudden shift in how we all act around each other.

Then one afternoon, my phone buzzes with a text from Joey that makes my chest tight. He says he got in a fight at school after some kids teased him about being a charity case whose brother only gets attention from girls.

I immediately text back asking if he’s okay and if Kurt knows what happened. He responds that he’s fine, but he’s sitting in the principal’s office waiting for Kurt to pick him up.

An hour later, Kurt calls and his voice sounds exhausted and stressed in a way I’ve never heard before. He explains that Joey got suspended for one day, and the school wants to schedule a meeting about his emotional state because this is the second incident this month.

He apologizes for bothering me, but says Joey’s been asking for me and won’t really talk to him about what happened.

I tell him I’ll come over after school tomorrow, and he thanks me in this quiet, grateful voice that makes my heart hurt.

The next day, I drive to their apartment feeling nervous about seeing Joey so upset and not knowing if I can actually help. Kurt opens the door, looking like he hasn’t slept much, and gestures toward the living room where Joey sits on the couch staring at his hands.

I sit down next to him, and he barely glances at me, which is so different from his usual excited greetings. Kurt hovers for a minute, then says he’ll be in his room if we need anything and leaves us alone.

I don’t try to make Joey talk right away, and instead just sit there with him in the quiet apartment. After what feels like forever, he finally speaks in this flat voice.

He says he’s tired of people only being nice to him to get close to Kurt, and he thought I was different, but now I’m like everyone else.

His words hit me hard because he’s not completely wrong, even though my friendship with him became real over time.

I take a breath and decide to just be honest with him. I admit that I do have feelings for Kurt, but my friendship with Joey was never fake, and I’ve been staying away recently because I’m trying to do the right thing by everyone.

He listens without looking at me and picks at a thread on the couch cushion. Then he asks in this small voice if I’m going to disappear like everyone else does.

I promise him I’m not going anywhere and we can keep having game nights no matter what happens with Kurt. But I also tell him he needs to understand that adult relationships are complicated and sometimes people need space to figure things out.

He finally looks at me and asks if that means I’m not going to date his brother. I admit I don’t know yet, and that’s the truth.

We sit in silence for another minute before Kurt comes back and sits in the chair across from us. The three of us have the most honest conversation we’ve had, with Joey talking about his fears of being abandoned and Kurt admitting he’s been stressed about balancing being a guardian with trying to have his own life.

I mostly listen and realize how much pressure they’re both carrying every single day. Joey mentions the kids at school who pretend to be his friend but really just want to hang out at his house to see Kurt, and how he never knows who actually likes him.

Kurt looks pained and says he wishes he could fix that, but he doesn’t know how.

I suggest maybe Joey could invite one friend at a time to do stuff away from the apartment, so he can get to know kids without Kurt being part of the equation. Joey considers this and nods slowly like maybe it could work.

Kurt reaches over and squeezes Joey’s shoulder and tells him he’s sorry things have been so hard lately. Joey shrugs, but leans into the touch, and I can see some of the tension leave his body.

We order pizza and watch a movie together, and things feel almost normal again, even though nothing is really resolved.

That night, I sit on my bed staring at my phone, trying to figure out what to say to Audrey about Joey. I type and delete like five different messages before settling on something simple, explaining what happened with the fight at school and how Joey’s been struggling with feeling used by people.

I hit send, not really expecting her to respond because things have been so weird between us lately.

My phone buzzes an hour later, and I almost drop it when I see Audrey’s name pop up. She asks if Joey’s okay and says she’s sorry he’s going through that, which honestly surprises me because I thought she’d either ignore the message or maybe just send back something short.

We end up exchanging a few more texts that actually feel kind of normal for the first time in weeks. She admits she’s been thinking a lot about everything that happened and she knows she overreacted to some stuff.

Then she asks if we can meet up again soon to actually talk face to face instead of her just running away like last time.

I respond immediately saying yes and suggesting this weekend, my fingers moving faster than my brain because I’m so relieved she wants to try.

We agree on Saturday afternoon at the coffee shop near school.

The rest of the week drags by with me constantly checking my phone and second-guessing what I’m going to say when we meet. Saturday morning, I change my outfit like three times before settling on jeans and a hoodie because I don’t want to look like I’m trying too hard.

I get to the coffee shop ten minutes early and order my usual drink, then sit at a corner table, nervously tearing a napkin into tiny pieces.

Audrey walks in looking tired but more calm than the last time I saw her, and she gives me a small wave before ordering her drink. She sits down across from me and immediately starts apologizing for how she handled everything.

She says she built up this whole fantasy about Kurt in her head without really knowing him as a person and watching me actually connect with him and Joey made her feel like she was replaced.

I listen without interrupting because I can tell she needs to get this all out. She admits she was jealous not just of my relationship with Kurt, but also of how easy it seemed for me to bond with Joey when she could never figure out how to talk to him.

I apologize again for not being honest sooner and for the way everything happened, telling her I should have said something as soon as I realized my feelings were getting complicated. My voice cracks a little when I say that our friendship means more to me than any guy ever could, and I can see her eyes getting watery, too.

We both end up crying a little bit right there in the coffee shop with people probably staring at us, but neither of us really cares.

Audrey reaches across the table and squeezes my hand, saying she knows our friendship is more important, but she also has to be real that things have changed between us.

I nod because she’s right, and pretending everything can just go back to normal would be lying to ourselves.

She takes a breath and says she needs me to not date Kurt for a while longer while she fully works through her feelings about everything. I agree, even though I’m not totally sure what “a while” means, and part of me worries it might be forever.

Then she surprises me again by mentioning she’s been talking to this guy from her art class and her face actually lights up a little when she describes him.

I ask her more about him and she gets kind of shy but admits he asked her to work on a project together and they’ve been texting a lot. Hearing that makes me feel hopeful that maybe she really is starting to move on instead of just saying she is.

Later that day, I text Kurt asking if we can talk and he calls me back within five minutes sounding slightly nervous.

I tell him about my conversation with Audrey and how she asked me to wait before we start dating, and there’s a long pause on the other end.

Kurt finally says he understands and he respects that I’m trying to do right by my friendship, but he’s also honest that he doesn’t want to wait forever in some weird limbo situation.

We talk for almost an hour about what feels fair to everyone, and eventually we agree to stay friends for now and revisit the possibility of dating in a month.

It feels both reasonable and impossibly far away at the same time, like a month could either fly by or drag on forever depending on how things go.

He asks if I’ll still come around to hang out with Joey, and I promise him I will because my friendship with Joey exists separately from whatever might happen between us.

Before we hang up, he says something about how he thinks I’m worth waiting for, and my face gets hot, even though nobody can see me blushing.

The next Thursday, I show up at their apartment for what Joey and I decide will be our official weekly game night. Joey’s practically bouncing when he opens the door, immediately pulling me toward the TV where he’s already got everything set up.

Kurt appears from his room and asks if we want pizza, and Joey yells yes without taking his eyes off the screen.

I can feel Kurt watching us for a minute before he heads to the kitchen to order food, and the tension from before seems a little less heavy.

Over the next few weeks, we fall into a pattern where Thursdays are just me and Joey, and sometimes Kurt joins us for the last hour, but mostly he gives us space.

Joey starts opening up more about school and his friends, mentioning this one kid who actually seems to like hanging out with him for real and not because of Kurt. I suggest maybe inviting that kid over sometime when Kurt’s not around, and Joey considers it like it’s this revolutionary idea he’s never thought of before.

Two weeks after my talk with Kurt, I get called down to the counseling office and Marcela is waiting with her usual calm expression. She asks how things have been going and I fill her in on the progress with Audrey and the agreement Kurt and I made about waiting.

Marcela nods and says it sounds like I’m handling a really difficult situation with a lot of thought and care for everyone involved. Then she reminds me that I can’t control whether everyone ends up happy and I need to make choices that match my own values too, not just what keeps other people comfortable.

I leave her office feeling both validated and slightly guilty because part of me knows I’m still trying to make everyone else happy even when it means putting my own feelings on hold.

Three weeks after the coffee shop conversation with Audrey, my phone starts buzzing more regularly with her texts. She sends me a meme about our chemistry teacher and I send back a gif and suddenly we’re texting like we used to before everything got complicated.

She complains about this massive homework assignment and I complain about my mom being annoying and it feels almost normal except there’s still this unspoken thing hanging between us.

Then one day she texts me that the art class guy asked her out and she said yes, with like five exclamation points and a bunch of happy emojis.

I respond immediately, telling her I’m excited for her and asking her to tell me everything about him. She sends back a long paragraph describing their first date plans and I can practically hear her voice getting all giddy through the text.

Something shifts in my chest reading her messages, like maybe this is actually going to work out and we’re all going to find our way through this mess.

Thursday night I’m at Joey’s apartment for our usual game night when Kurt appears in the doorway and asks if he can talk to me for a minute. Joey makes exaggerated kissy faces until Kurt throws a pillow at him and I follow Kurt into the kitchen, feeling my heart speed up.

He leans against the counter and asks if I’ve thought any more about us, pointing out that the month we agreed on is almost up.

My hands start shaking slightly, so I shove them in my pockets, taking a breath before responding. I tell him I want to try dating, but we need to take it slow and keep being honest with everyone about what’s happening.

Kurt’s whole face lights up and he steps closer, asking if that means he can actually take me on a real date now.

I nod and he grins, already suggesting this restaurant he’s been wanting to try.

Joey yells from the living room asking what we’re talking about, and Kurt and I look at each other before heading back to tell him together.

The next day, Kurt and I meet Audrey at the same coffee shop where we had our last big conversation. My hands shake as we walk in together and spot her already sitting at a corner table with three cups in front of her.

She looks up when we approach and her expression shifts from confused to understanding in about two seconds.

We sit down and Kurt starts explaining that we want to try dating, but we wanted to tell her first before making anything official. I watch her face go through a bunch of emotions while he talks and I add that her friendship matters more to me than anything else.

She stays quiet for what feels like forever, just staring at her coffee cup and turning it in slow circles on the table. Then she takes a breath and says she appreciates us telling her directly instead of letting her find out some other way.

She admits it’s still weird and she’s not totally okay with it, but she can accept it as long as I don’t expect her to hang out with us as a couple or hear about our relationship stuff.

I agree immediately and Kurt nods, saying that’s completely fair.

We sit there for a few more minutes making awkward small talk about homework before Audrey says she needs to get going. She hugs me before leaving, which feels like a good sign, even though the hug is shorter than usual.

That evening, Kurt and I go back to his apartment to tell Joey together. He’s playing video games when we walk in and barely glances up until Kurt sits down next to him and pauses the game.

Joey makes an annoyed sound and looks between us with suspicion written all over his face.

Kurt explains that we’re going to try dating and Joey’s immediate reaction is to jump up and cheer, which makes me laugh. But then his expression changes and he asks what happens if we break up and I have to stop coming over.

My chest tightens because it’s a valid fear and I can see real worry in his eyes.

I sit down on his other side and promise him that my friendship with him exists completely separate from any relationship with Kurt. Kurt backs me up, saying that even if things don’t work out with us, Joey will still have his game nights and hangout time.

Joey looks between us skeptically and says we have to pinky swear, which feels very twelve-year-old but also kind of perfect.

We both stick out our pinkies and he links them with ours, making us repeat the promise out loud.

After that, he unpauses his game and goes back to playing like nothing happened, but I catch him grinning at the screen.

Our first official date happens three days later at this quiet Italian place Kurt found across town. He picks me up and opens the car door, which makes me roll my eyes but also smile.

The restaurant is small with dim lighting and checkered tablecloths, and we get seated in a corner booth away from other people.

For the first time since this whole thing started, we can just talk without worrying about Joey overhearing or Audrey texting or anyone else’s feelings hanging over us.

Kurt tells me about his music and his plans after graduation, and I tell him about my college applications and my complicated relationship with my parents.

Halfway through dinner, he reaches across the table and takes my hand, and I let him without pulling away. His thumb traces circles on my palm while we talk, and it feels both exciting and right, like something that was worth all the waiting and complicated conversations.

When the waiter brings the check, Kurt insists on paying, even though I offer to split it.

Walking back to the car, he keeps holding my hand, and I realize this is actually happening, and it doesn’t feel scary anymore.

Over the next few weeks, everything starts settling into a new normal that feels more honest than before.

Audrey and I text more regularly again, starting with small things like homework complaints and funny videos. She tells me about her second date with the guy from art class, and I can hear genuine happiness in her messages instead of the forced excitement she used to have about Kurt.

We meet for coffee once without it being weird, and she sets a clear boundary that she doesn’t want to hear about my relationship stuff, which I completely respect.

Kurt and I figure out how to date while keeping Joey’s stability as the main priority, which means some date nights get canceled when Joey needs extra attention.

I notice Joey gradually opening up more at school, and he mentions a kid named Jonathan who actually seems to like hanging out with him for real.

One Thursday, he asks if Jonathan can come to game night sometime, and I suggest maybe they could hang out without me there, too. The look on his face tells me that’s a new concept he’s never really considered before.

Thursday game night becomes this sacred thing that’s just Joey and me every single week, no matter what else is happening. We have our routine now where I show up at six with snacks and he’s already got the console set up with whatever game he’s been obsessing over that week.

Kurt usually brings home pizza around seven and hangs out with us for a bit before giving us space to finish our gaming session. After Joey goes to do homework around nine, Kurt and I usually watch a movie together on the couch, just talking about our days and making out during the boring parts.

One Thursday evening, while Joey’s in his room and Kurt and I are watching some action movie, my phone buzzes with a text from Audrey. It’s a photo of her and art class guy at some gallery opening, both of them smiling genuinely at the camera. Her message says she thinks this one might actually be different in a good way.

I text back that I’m really happy for her, and I mean it completely.

Looking at that photo, I realize we all somehow found our way to something better than what we were desperately holding on to before. It’s not perfect, and it’s definitely not what any of us originally planned, but it’s real and honest, and that matters more than the fantasy versions we had in our heads.

And there you have it, another masterpiece of mediocrity. If you made it this far, I can’t tell if you’re loyal or just lost. Either way, subscribe and let’s keep making questionable choices.